Good Morning Starshine!

I woke up in a great mood. This never happens. I had a full and enjoyable weekend with the boy. We went to the Renaissance Festival and put in the garden. (I went a little overboard with the half price tomato plants, so any one who follows this blog and can find me will get free tomato's.)
But it was a great weekend.
People have always said "Oh Children are amazing! They are sooo honest and good." Well that is bullshit. A first grader in Athens Ga was arrested not long ago for battery against her teacher. It wasn't a simple she slapped me battery, it was a monster wailing away with a stick.... but I digress.
The cool thing about kids is seeing what they pick up from you and change around. Like gardening. The boy doesn't know much about what we were doing. Sure we do it every year and all but kids forget.
I showed him how to use the shovel head to measure between plants. After a few holes he was a pro. When I was his age I spent the summer in a Texas Trailer Park putting in a new water line. We dug all day in the heat and then went swimming at the park pool. The boy and I went to a friends farm and swam in a pond.
I was even in a good mood at lunch when 'Good Morning Star shine' came on the oldies station. What the hell is all the 'gloopy doopy doopy' crap in the middle? Were we that stoned back then?

Some days will not die.

So I fired my people today. If you have never fired someone you should. You get to see the five stages of grief in a few minutes. Only it's all out of order and usually ends with anger. They never leave on acceptance.
It doesn't help that they are one person out of fifty being laid off today. It does not help that you tried to get them in on another department. It does not help that you are probably in the same boat in a few months. What really does not help is the Unemployment form that's been filled out in advance.
"What the fuck is this shit! How long have you planned this Motherfucker! Unemployment don't pay shit!" This is from the person who will be called back last. The Secretary thought it would be a nice gesture to have the forms ready in advance. She feeds on misery and came in early this morning to be finished by break time.
I got to work early too. I planned to head off the panic and rumors but it was too late. Our night shift got their bad news at 6:30am and the underground telegraph was fired up at 6:33 am. So I was an hour late before I started. So I waited until the forms were done and started the long drawn out emotional meetings.
By 5 I was exhausted and ready to go home. But the boss had other plans. The other Supervisors and I had to sit and debrief him on how the lay offs went. What we told who and for how they took the news. "And for Christ's sake I hope none of you sorry bastards gave anyone a solid time frame." Uh well I told them it would be at least a month and maybe two or three before we would..."Oh for the love of fuck, who said anything about calling people back!" and on and on.
The last hope of the day was Jimmy Buffet. He's in town tonight and the girl I've been seeing for the last few weeks got tickets.
No. I'm not sitting under the stars with a honey and a cold one listening to songs of Margaritaville. She was very upset that I worked late and so gave me the I'll be ready in a minute for a solid hour and the show had started.
Finally I said "It's been fun. I'll see you around. I'm locking this door for you." and headed for the liquor store.
So I'm listening to the Live in Anguilla CD and drinking a premixed Mojito.
To show my growth as an Adult Man, I'm staying mostly sober and riding my bike to work in the morning.

Hello, Goodbye!

I like my job most of the time. Let me tell you I do not believe in careers. A job is what you do so you can do what you want to (or have to). Some people have great jobs like chocolate tasters or SCUBA guides in Cozumel. But it's still a job and eventually it will wear on you. "Well Boss I'd love to take the boat with the Tropicana Tanning Team out but my ear hurts." "Gee, the new Godiva Bars sound fantastic bu the Doctor says I have work related Diabetes".
I've been with this company for 10 years July and we've never had a slow down. I've worked my way from machine operator to night shift supervisor to Shipping/Receiving/Packaging Manager. Since the packers are the last people to see our stuff before the customers, I've been allowed to handpick my people. No one who works for me has less than 3 years at the company and most have 5 or 6. I've been to most of their houses and helped 4 of them move. I've had cook outs for all 16 at my house. Every year they make me a giant goat stew and take me out for drinks on my birthday. They make me look really good with the people up the ladder.
Tomorrow is going to be a bad day at work. The economy has hit our little factory, later than most, but we have to lay off 40% of our people in the morning. As a Manager, I got to pick the 40% of my department to fire.
So tonight I am staying sober. For my friends who get the late night insane emails. Friday morning is going to be on fire!

3 technology complaints.

#1. Do not use your cell phone when you are blocking something. Don't argue with your wife on the phone when you are between me and the coffee at QT. Don't talk to your boss while I am behind you at the Red light.
#2. Stop texting people when you are in the middle of a conversation. If I am trying to fill out an insurance form, wait until I'm finished talking before you text your bff about what happened last night.
#3. After 10 pm there should be three or four hard steps to sending an email. This is a personal problem. See there was a time when we would drunk dial. Then we got older and outgrew it. Not long ago I joined Myfaceter. It makes it too easy to send out drunk emails to old friends. Like the old drunk calls the subject has to do with why I was drinking and how much.
The most common ones are 'I Love You Forever and you make life good'. There are 2 people who get these regularly and one is a dude. Then sometimes people get the 'I Love You and Think you are Wasting Your Life'. These are always followed by periods of coolness in the relationship.
But for the most part they are understanding. Much more understanding than back in the day when you had to wake up to hear it.
So either I have to stop drinking or we need to make emails harder to send after 10 pm. Let me tell you if going cold turkey off the Devil Wine is anything like quiting the smokes, it's best to make the emails harder.
You don't want to see that again.

Squirels

Squirrels are not really cute when they are eating the house.
We used to shoot them when I was a kid. The old Lady across the street would cook them. My Dad sold the little skins to somebody and I'd buy shotgun shells and books.
My Mom hated the dead squirrel trade. She thought the squirrels were cute and I was going to be a serial killer when I grew up.
The Squirrel trade fell apart when the old Lady was shipped off to a home by her kids. My Mom was very happy. She wasn't afraid of my becoming a serial killer and started feeding birds and squirrels and deer in the back yard. I cleaned my old 410 and forgot about it. I went hunting once in High School and that was it. I'm more of a fishing guy.
My Mom never complained about killing and gutting fish, just the cute little squirrels.
Jump ahead to Yesterday. I went home to help Mom clean some limbs out of the yard and she's sitting in the backyard with my shotgun, shooting at squirrels. They were now evil rat bastard turncoats that were chewing the new siding off the house.
Now I don't know if she will grow up to be a serial killer.

Old GF's.

I went to Publix today for a birthday cake. They have the best grocery store Birthday Cake. I decided to get a sub while I was there.
I'm standing in line waiting for my sub and holding a 1/4 sheet cake with Happy Birthday Elvira written on it and up walks an XGF.
I am not adept at ending relationships. Almost every relationship I have ever had ends with tires screeching, curses hurled into darkness, bottles broken or court.
But this exgirlfriend was different. I thought.
I tried to be very small and hidden behind the overpriced potato chip bag display. (You know pull your shoulders in and lower your head, eyes on the floor.) But she spotted me and greeted me with "Jesus you got fat!" I replied with something like "Shit you got observant."
It turns out that the quiet ones who leave without much fuss hold grudges longer.
I never bought her a birthday cake. I never bought her a Philly Cheese Steak. I never really did much for her, or with her, or much of anything. Except waste her time and then leave her heart broken.
So I apologize for a long time. I've never had a Philly Cheese Steak take that long to cook. A 1/4 sheet cake has never been that heavy.
I aplogized from the Deli to the check out. I apologized all the way to my truck. I rolled down the window apologizing hoping to keep her eyes off my license plate.
I'm not the best man to ever live, but I'm not a bad man. I never intentionaly scar my girlfriends for life.
I'm sure it was good for her to get that closure. I am sure she was relieved to finally get it all off her chest.
But I am never going back to that Publix again.

Happy New Year.

Howdy, it's day 4 of 2009 and it's going pretty good. I still haven't made my resolutions but I've got an outline. Lose weight, stop drinking before church, you know that kind of thing.
My big one is to stop watching as much TV. I'm trying to find a good number of hours per day. My thinking is a per day or per week plan.
Of course I'm going to clean the house more.
Then I'm going to dive more and get out of debt. Not the house debt but the credit card debt. Last year I made 65 dives. This year I'm going to shoot for 100 and get my rescue certification. These goals are seemingly mutually exclusive but I've navigated around paradoxes before.
Who knows I might win the lottery or find a long lost rich Uncle or Aunt.