Digital Screening isn't what it sounds like.

I hate Doctors. Last week I go in to a new Doctor for the flu. My old Doc was kicked off the company insurance, then we switched insurance and he's still kicked off.
Well the new Doc is cool. He gave me some weird antibiotic that I can't take with food. They are so foul it's almost worse than the flu.
But the new Doc is never finished with you. I must have a physical because my blood pressure is up. I'm over 40 and it just happens. I'm also really fat. I've always been large. As a kid I was taller and stronger than the other first,second, third, etc graders. But five years ago I quit smoker and started to put on weight. Then my Grandmother died and I put on a little more. Then my last Grandparent started to show signs of Alzheimer's and I really started to eat. Anyway..in the words of John Candy in Stripes "The Doc's say I swallow my feelings. And a hell of alot of pizza."
So last Grandma died a year ago and I was starting to get over the guilt and the emotional mulching apparatus that is my family. I eased back on the drinking alone in the dark and started to walk the dog more often.
Then this flu hits me. A woman I work with goes to the new Doc and gets me an appointment for the second day I have symptoms. We're all a little nervous about this swine flu.
The Doc comes in for a few minutes and then in comes a PA who lays down the law about being fat and old and high blood pressure. She insists I get a physical and gives me a great handout about what to expect. My last physical was in 9Th grade when I played football.
The handout has a small type sentence about Digital Prostate Screening. I think "Hey all right they came up with some sort of imaging thing for that. Thank God for progress!"
So today I go to my physical (for some reason you can't wear deodorant?). The nurse takes about a gallon of blood and hooks me up to the EKG. She then shaves three half moons into my chest hair and re hooks me to the EKG.
The Nurse and I have fun taking my blood pressure together and then I get to leave a urine sample and wait in another room for the Doc.
It's a regular room without anything that looks like a Digital Imaging device. About this time it hits me "Digit is an old word for finger". So the visit ends like so many other things in my life. A stranger playing with my junk and despair.
On the up side I get a fancy new prescription for a pretty red pill to take every day forever.