Rain, rain, go away.

The great state of Georgia has a split personality.
We have ten year droughts followed by intense rain in the fall. It's been raining for a week now. The dog and I both have mouldy spots. Laundry takes forever to dry and towels never really do.
Last night we had something new. In four hours my little town got 10.35 inches of rain. The cross ties I put in the yard to prevent the lawn from washing away, floated away.
These cross ties were taken from the train tracks last year when they replaced them and weighed about 100 tons each. Now they are about twenty feet from where I put them.

Memories, a play in one act.

Open on smokey interior.
Panic--"Dude, can you see me?"
Dude--"Maybe you should let me drive."
Panic--"No, I'm cool, I just don't feel visible right now. You know?"
Dude--"Panic, Dude, relax. It's just good shit. Now pull over and let me drive."
Man, enters from next room. "Pizza will be here in 20 minutes. They don't have doughnuts."
Dude--"Dude, I thought we were in the car going for doughnuts."
Panic--"Oh shit, am I driving. I can't fucking drive man, I'm to baked."
Man--"Man, you two light weights can't handle your weed. Ha,ha."
Dude, Man and Panic sit on the couch watching television.
Panic--"Where's the bong? What if the Pizza guy is a narc? I can't go to jail. Oh shit."
Man--"We ordered pizza?"
Dude--"I want some doughnuts."

Weather Girls. I am not gay.

My trip was fantastic, but I was accused of being a homosexual.
When doing anything on or near a large body of water, you want
to keep up with the weather.
The Weather Channel used to give weather reports all through the
day. You could watch for 15 minutes and know what what was up in your
area and those adjacent and maybe some large cities around the world.
But now they have these women who look real good but they talk about
but the forecast.
When I complained at the all you can eat Continental Breakfast, you would think that
I had to spit the cock out of my mouth to speak. "What are you Queer?" came from my twenty something roommate for the trip.
Now this kid had pissed me off from the moment I saw him. He called me 'sir' in a way that you call the 80 year old lost at the airport 'sir'.
So I explained that I love women and women's bodies, but there is no reason for them to wear low cut blouses, tight skirts and not tell me the weather. They could wear camo and tell me the weather and I would be happy. They could disembodied voices and tell me the weather and I would have been happy. I'm about to get on a very small boat and go four or five miles off shore, I want to know what is going to happen.
I assumed that would be the end. But the little snot nosed pin head talked.
After dinner I was talking to a woman in the group and she said "It's so nice to just talk to a man without any pressure"
"Well, I'm a laid back guy, ya know."
"Yeah, but you are gay so I don't have to worry about this going anywhere."
"Wha...?"

The Keys

If life was fair I'd live in the Florida Keys or Cozumel.
As it is, life gives me little installments of Paradise. Every chance I get,
I go to the Keys or Cozumel. Sometimes, like now Mother Nature gets a dig in.
I've been waiting for a month to go on this trip and suddenly Tropical Depression
Erika has popped up.
All season the Hurricanes have formed in the Atlantic and travelled North. Now Erika
goes West, dammit. Oh sure if it forms into a strong hurricane, it will be bad for the
people down there and monetary damage etc.
But I have to Dive in warm clear blue water this weekend. There is no other option.
I have to sit in subtropical sunlight and drink beer and eat conch fritters and fish tacos.
I need this badly. I haven't had a chance to dive since New Years.
To help you understand the anxiety, I'll open a window into my world.
Tuesday 6 am the bubble headed weather girl mentions a tropical depression.
Tuesday 7 am the weather guy on the radio says a tropical storm is developing.
Tuesday 9 am, my Boss says "You see the Hurricane headed for Key Largo?"
Tuesday 9:06 am Weather Bug check #1.
followed by #2-306 by 5pm.
Tuesday 6pm-7pm walk dog around Stone Mountain while fidgeting with broken radio.
Tuesday 7:06 pm check dive shop website. No mention of Tropical Depression.
Wednesday the beast is named and has a track heading for Key Largo or south of Cuba.
This is just the first 24 hours.