Tuesday, August 11, 2009

What did the Mona Lisa ever do to you?

Why are people attacking the Mona Lisa?
Sure it's in the most disgusting museum in the most disgusting city in the world, but it did not choose it's home.
I hate Paris. The rest of France is wonderful and I would be mind numbingly happy on the Riviera, but Paris is a city of Hate. The closet thing we have in the states would be West Palm Beach, Miami, Naples triangle.
In Paris they hate you for not being Parisian. They stand in their Levi's and berate America and Americans. They will personally insult you for Government actions. I came to the aid of a poor Canadian being attacked for a cheese import tax. In the Louvre I was sent to the restaurant ten times while looking for the rest room. No, don't look at me like that, I knew to ask for the WC. The staff was laughing at me, another Frenchman came to my aid. He took pity on me and explained that they did this to tourist all the time. He was from Normandy and loved the English and Canadians and Americans. I bought him a truly great coffee while my family shopped the insanely overpriced and over large gift shop. He was very happy that we were leaving Paris the next day.
But I digress. The Mona Lisa is very small in real life. It's behind very thick glass, behind a very imposing rope. The Mona Lisa is impressive because of it's age and the little smirk on her face. When you think that 500 years ago a man found a hooker and ground up rocks and sea shells and whatever else was needed to make paint, then sat for hours painting the hooker, and today it's still culturally relevant. Well that's just amazing. But after moving around a few countries and watching the fall of the Catholic Empire, people are now taking flash photos of the Mona Lisa and throwing mugs at it.
The best museum I went into in Europe was in Rome. They had a sorta Renaissance gone wrong room. It was a long, long narrow, high walled wonder room. It was filled, absolutely filled with green Madonna and Child paintings. When they mixed the paint way, way back in day, if you got the wrong egg ratio, after a few decades all the white paint turned green. I was enchanted with that room. Once you realize what happened and could look around the vampire mother of god, there was some amazing art work, that could never be loved, the way the pretty Christ Children would be. A Docent in broken English explained what had happened with the paint. She went on to say that the artist would have never known what had happened with the limited life span of the day.
I like Rome. It's dirty and expensive but the people are happy and proud of their city. Not like the people of Boca Raton.

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